Staub: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Arob: Yeah, if you're a gopher.
Arob: They're charging $4.50
Staub: It's $4.65
Arob: PM?!
Staub: I feel like if you play hopscotch when you have to poop, then you're just asking for it.
Arob: Yeah, because of gravity.
Staub: Aaron, I want live with your brain for like 8 hours.
Arob: 8 hours? That's enough to kill anyone!
Arob: Your farts come out at 2500 rpm.
Staub: What?
Arob: Hey Siri, how fast does a fart come out of my ass?
Arob: I'm locked out of my computer. I've tried all of my passwords and it won't take any of them.
Staub: Do you have caps lock on?
Arob: Fuck...
Staub: Have you seen Frasier?
Arob: Oh yeah, Frasier! That's about a gay guy in New York.
Arob: Howdy doo!
Staub: Howdy doo?
Arob: What? It's a classic American greeting!
Staub: Do it, you won't. No balls.
Arob: I've got them right here. They've dropped, it's fine.
Staub: Someone took a shit in your lava lamp.
Arob: Yeah, it's gonna float. It's a floater.
Arob: Maybe my purpose in life is to kill Vladimir Putin.
Staub: I feel like I should maybe add a disclaimer to the Putin one, just in case.
Arob: Disclaimer: Putin is an evil dictator murderer deserving to be removed from this earth, thus this statement is cleared.
Arob: What's a footjob?
Staub: It's when someone puts their foot in your ass.
Arob: I don't want five toenails in my butt!
Arob: What about Pepé Le Pew?
Staub: He was a cartoon.
Arob: A cartoon? I'd call him more of a mentor.
Staub: A mentor?
Arob: I didn't have a lot of role models growing up.